7 Tips to Boost Your Dating Confidence
Let’s face it — dating can be intimidating for almost anyone. It can reduce even the most confident people to an uncertain mess of nerves. There’s the pressure to impress but not boast, to be interesting but not aloof, to be engaging but not hog the conversation, to be a good listener but not withdrawn, to be thoughtful, mannerly, funny, fun… You get the idea.
But the thing is: It doesn’t have to be this way.
The key is to look at dating as an opportunity. An opportunity to get out of the house and spend time with someone new. An opportunity to be yourself, and enjoy being yourself. And maybe, just maybe, that date of yours may end up being the most important person in your life one day. But if your dating confidence is low at the outset, you might miss out on that opportunity altogether. That's why the following dating tips can really make a difference...
Try these dating tips to boost your confidence and your chances of success:
Avoid playing to win.
Most people go on a date with the goal of making the other person like them. It suddenly becomes a game to see whether or not a next date is in the cards, which, in turn, takes you out of the moment. A date isn’t a competition. It’s a low-pressure, genuine search for a connection between two people. After all, any game will produce a winner and a loser, and when was the last time a relationship worked out when one person lost?
Nothing will ruin your confidence like realizing your favorite shirt is in the dirty laundry pile, you’re running late, or you’re not even sure where you’re going. Not to mention the less-than-impressive first impression you’ll make. Take a little extra time and prep for the date.
Give yourself plenty of time to get ready.
Ensure you have your outfit picked out at least the night before to avoid second-guessing.
Be clear on where you’re going, how to get there and how long it will take to get there.
Practice, practice, practice.
If you only go out on a date once every month or two, it will be challenging to ever maximize your confidence and comfort level. Instead, opt for more frequent, more casual dates that only last an hour. These dates are less threatening, don’t take a lot of time and can help you find your comfort zone. Here are some examples:
Meet for coffee
Meet for lunch during the work-week.
Meet for a quick beer after work.
You can go on several dates like this each week. You’ll be more likely to find the right person, not just because you’re dating more people, but because a quick, casual date is less stressful and puts both parties more at ease.
Use a date to decide if you want another date.
The purpose of a date should be to have a nice time and to get to know the other person. It’s not about angling to get a second date no matter what. A date is used to decide if you want another date, and with this perspective, the date should feel less stressful. By looking at things objectively, you’ll be more likely to have a genuine experience, and you’ll also be able to judge the potential of the relationship more effectively.
Suffering isn’t mandatory.
Most of us believe at some level in the artist’s curse: that we have to suffer in some way to get something good. For example, you may have to go on 45 terrible, awkward dates to find one great relationship. And sure, it may take 45 dates to find the right one, but there’s no reason those 45 dates can’t be enjoyable. Pick a place you enjoy regardless, an activity you’d participate in anyway. Not only will your date see you in your element, but you’ll have a good time regardless of chemistry.
Remember your positive qualities.
When heading out for a date, we often think about our shortcomings and deficiencies. In fact, it’s scientifically proven that it’s easier to have negative thoughts than positive ones. So be mindful of this fact, and focus on rising above the easy negativity. You want to be your best self on your date, and your date will only recognize your great qualities if you do. Start positive, stay positive, have fun.
You have everything to gain.
A bad date usually just means a little lost time and maybe a little lost money. But even if you don’t find the one, you gain valuable dating experience, you get to meet someone new, you learn more about what you like and what you don’t, and you may even get a friend out of it. And if you follow Tip #5, you may have even done something you already enjoy. Don’t worry about an occasional bad date — the upside is too amazing to ignore.
Dating Tips Summary
After all, dating should to be fun, exciting and something to look forward to. By following these seven dating tips, you can start looking forward to your dates, and ultimately, give yourself a better chance to make a lasting connection. Confidence comes from experience, so take every opportunity to get out there and spend time with someone new.